


Five Times Jeremy was Confused about Michael and Rich, and the One Time He Wasn't

by somethingcleverimsure



Series: Rich and Michael are BFFs [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: 5+1 Things, Friends to Lovers, Jeremy figures stuff out, Love Confessions, M/M, Michael and Rich are BFFs, Some Fluff, Some angst, post squip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 01:34:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11071296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingcleverimsure/pseuds/somethingcleverimsure
Summary: After the SQUIP everyone became close friends, it makes sense for Michael and Rich to be friends now as well, Jeremy just doesn't know why it seems to matter so much that they have, or why it bothers him so much.





	Five Times Jeremy was Confused about Michael and Rich, and the One Time He Wasn't

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything. The story happens a few months after The SQUIP incident, and then spans over a few months. This is my first attempt at this, and the first story I've written. I don't have a beta reader, so sorry in advance for any spelling mistakes. Constructive criticism welcome. Thank you for reading!

1.

Jeremy will be the first one to admit that the SQUIP had changed a lot of things, but even he didn’t expect this. He really shouldn’t be that surprised, after all Michael had apparently spent a lot of time in the hospital room before he had woken up, and really who else was there to talk to except Rich. After everything that had happened, the two would have surely found some common ground, so Jeremy isn’t even all that surprised that they get along. After all, even Jeremy is friends with a few people he never thought he’d be friends with. However, Jeremy is surprised that his best friend is currently walking alongside Rich in the hallway, talking about some old video game they both like, with matching graffiti on their backpacks. Apparently after all that time in the hospital Rich decided it was necessary to vandalize his own backpack to say “BESTF” so that next to Michael’s own backpack it spelled out “BEST FRIENDS.”  
Jeremy was surprised, and frankly a little hurt. He and Michael were the best friends, but now Michael was letting Rich tell the entire school that he and Rich were actually the best friends. Okay, so it probably wasn’t as dramatic as Jeremy was making it out to be, and he should be happy that Michael had made a new friend. He clearly wasn’t being replaced, but still he couldn’t help but feel as though this was the consequence of his actions from the whole SQUIP thing, even if Michael said he had forgiven him. Jeremy shook off the thought, the less he focused on the SQUIP the better.  
“Hey! Michael, Rich,” Jeremy called, walking over to this two friends, “What’s up?”  
“Rich was just telling me about this Japanese video game from the nineties that is apparently the absolute worst,” Michael explained.  
“Yeah,” Rich said, “I’ve been trying to get my hands on a copy but there aren’t that many left, and what I’ve found is pretty expensive. It’s pretty infamous online.”  
“Oh,” Jeremy said, “What’s it called?”  
“You’ve probably never heard of it,” Rich explained, waving the question off “It’s really obscure and shit.”  
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Jeremy agreed.  
“Hey! Did you see my latest masterpiece?” Rich asked, pulling his backpack in front of him, showing off his handiwork.  
“I did,” Jeremy said, putting his hands in his pockets and shifting his weight awkwardly, unsure of what else to say.  
“Yeah, Rich thinks he’s a genius,” Michael interjected sarcastically.  
“I am a genius,” Rich gasped, clutching a hand to his heart and dramatically pretending to be offended.  
“Sure you are buddy,” Michael said dryly, patting rich on the back.  
“Anyway,” Rich continued straightening up again, “I’ve decided that everyone is gonna get one so we all match with Michael.”  
“Again,” Michael said, looking directly at Jeremy, “He thinks he’s a genius.”  
“I don’t know Michael,” Jeremy teased, “It sounds like a great idea.”  
“See Mell, Heere’s got the right idea,” Rich said.  
“Shit,” Jeremy said, noticing the clock in the hall, “I’ve got to get to rehearsal. Michael, we on for Apocalypse of the Damned later?”  
“Actually, Rich and I are gonna hang,” Michael replied, and a pit grew in Jeremy’s stomach, “We have project to do. I know it’s pretty lame to actually do homework after school, but like I actually have a partner I know this time, so I thought I’d make the most of it.”  
“Oh,” Jeremy said, “Okay, that’s cool. I’ll see you later then, I guess.”  
“Yeah,” Michael said, looking a little confused at Jeremy’s reaction, “See you later.”  
Of course as Jeremy walked to play rehearsal, he felt like it wasn’t very cool at all. He told himself he was overreacting, and that it was perfectly logical for Michael to want to hang out with Rich over him, and that it was probably the responsible choice to work on his school project, but dammit they’re in high school- when are they ever responsible?  
“Hey Jeremy,” Christine greeted him from the stage when he entered the auditorium, “What’s goin’ on?”  
“Oh, Hey Christine,” Jeremy said, still in thought, “Nothing much I guess.”  
“You look… reflective,” Christine said, choosing her words carefully. She motioned to the spot next to her on the stage and Jeremy joined her. While things had been awkward at first between them after the SQUIP incident, and while their relationship had changed drastically over the past few months, the two were now comfortably situated as friends, and Jeremy found it was really easy to talk to Christine. She was maybe one of the few people who really understood where he was coming from, aside from probably Rich. Although that kind of understanding was what what Jeremy needed, it also caused a lot of tension in their romantic relationship, which was why they ultimately decided to end it.  
“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Jeremy said, brushing it off, “It’s probably just a weird day.”  
“Alright,” Christine said hesitantly, “But if there’s ever anything you need to talk about-”  
“I’ll tell you,” Jeremy said, completing her sentence.  
“You know we’re all here for you,” Christine added, “Me, Brooke, Chloe, Jenna, Jake, Rich. And of course you always have Michael.”  
“Yeah,” Jeremy said noncommittally.  
“Wait did something happen between you two?” Christine asked. Jeremy shot her an exasperated glance, “Sorry. I won’t pry. I promise. Just know, that you can always talk to me about anything, and even if you feel you can’t talk to me, everyone else is there for you as well. Although I can promise minimal snark if come to me, I can’t promise that for everyone else.”  
“Okay mom, I got it,” Jeremy joked, “For real though, it’s nothing. It’s probably just me being overly sensitive because it’s been a long day or something.”  
“Alright,” Christine said, continuing on to change the topic to the upcoming play until the rest of the cast and Mr. Reyes showed up. However, throughout his friend’s ramblings and rehearsal, Jeremy couldn’t help but be occupied by the strange sinking feeling in his gut. 

 

2.

“So you and Rich have been hanging out more?” Jeremy asked over the loud chatter of the mall’s food court. After the backpack and school project debacle a few weeks ago, things had returned to semi-normalcy. He and Michael were hanging out more often, but Michael had still devoted some time to spend with Rich, which made sense.  
“Yeah,” Michael said, digging at his chili fries, “He’s a cool dude. I can’t believe we didn’t hang out with him freshman year.”  
“I mean we’re a pretty intimidating duo to infiltrate,” Jeremy said, “We’ve been best friends since like forever, I can imagine it being difficult trying to break into a friendship with so much history. Also we didn’t know who he was.”  
“Fair,” Michael agreed, looking down at his phone and sending a quick text, “It’s still kind of weird hanging out with all of our old bullies.”  
“Yeah,” Jeremy agreed, “But there's just some things you can’t go through without becoming friends. Apparently a swallowing a supercomputer that’s hellbent on taking over a high school is one of those things.”  
“Do you think that freshman year Jeremy would have shit his pants if he knew he was going to be best friends with Christine Canigula and regularly eating lunch with Jake Dillinger?” Michael asked.  
“Let’s not get carried away here,” Jeremy said, “Although Christine is one of my closest friends, you’re still my best friend, Mell. No matter how much your backpack wants to deny it. Also I think freshmen year Jeremy would be freaking out a lot more over some of the other events of this year.”  
“Hey,” Michael objected, “My backpack isn’t the one with the the problem. Mine only says “RIENDS.” Yours is the one that says “BOYF.” Maybe you should fight Rich, defend my honor as your best friend.”  
“If that’s what it takes,” Jeremy said, trying to say it solemnly, but unable to keep the smile from his face. His own smile was met with one of Michael’s megawatt smiles and a bubble of laughter from the other boy. Jeremy felt ten pounds lighter than he had all week.  
“I’m pretty sure Rich would kick your ass,” Michael said,looking at his phone and sending another text, “He’s pretty angry for such a small guy.”  
“Please, even if Rich could win in a fight against me, you wouldn’t let him,” Jeremy reasoned, “What else is my player two for?”  
“Excuse you?” Michael said, pretending to be shocked, “I am player one. Honestly for such disparaging remark, I might have to side with Rich on this one. My best friend would know that I am player one.”  
The two burst out into giggles at the absurdity of the scenario they had created. For a moment Jeremy had almost forgotten about all of his troubles and the rest of the world around him. He had completely forgotten that there was ever a period where he and Michael weren’t exactly as they were in this moment.  
“Would I get back in your good graces if I got you a drink while I was up?” Jeremy asked, standing up.  
“I suppose,” Michael said, flashing another smile up at Jeremy.  
“Cherry slushie?” Jeremy asked, grabbing Michael’s empty cup.  
“Such a great best friend,” Michael teased.  
“Shut up,” Jeremy said, playfully shoving at Michael’s shoulder as he walked away.  
“You know you love me,” Michael called over his shoulder, and Jeremy would be lying if he said he didn’t blush a little at that comment.  
When Jeremy returned to their table Michael was laughing at something on his phone. Of course, Michael was on his phone as much as the next person, but Jeremy couldn’t remember a time when he was on his so often while they were hanging out.  
“What’s so funny?” He asked raising his eyebrows at his friend.  
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Michael said, “Rich just sent me something funny.”  
“What he send?” Jeremy asked, trying to ignore the sinking feeling that had just returned.  
“It’s an inside joke,” Michael explained, pulling his phone ever so slightly away from Jeremy, adding insult to the injury. However, the pang in his chest didn’t last long because Michael was putting his down and diverting all of his attention to Jeremy once again. “How about we finish up here, and then we head down to the Spencer’s Gifts so I can buy some old soda from the guy that works there?”  
“That honestly sounds like the best thing ever right now,” Jeremy said, happy to have Michael smiling at him once again. And if Jeremy said he was successfully ignoring the butterflies in his stomach, he would have been lying. 

 

3.

Jeremy had almost gotten used to Michael and Rich’s new friendship, granted he got to see a little less of his best friend, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. Michael still came over pretty regularly, and they still got high in Michael’s basement. It was like everything had really returned to normal, except Jeremy still got this nervous fluttering feeling every time Michael flashed him a smile. The two had eventually talked about the unspoken tension left behind from the SQUIP incident. Jeremy had apologized profusely, and Michael being the absolute ray of sunshine that he was told Jeremy he had already forgiven him. The two began their tentative steps back into friendship, and in almost no time they were back to where they had been before.  
However, one thing Jeremy had not been prepared for with Michael’s new friendship with Rich was how Rich would influence Michael. Jeremy certainly wasn’t prepared for Michael opening the door wearing a pac-man tank top. Apparently Jeremy had been staring because Michael felt the need to clarify that it was gift from Rich, then tried to laugh it off by asking if it made him look like a dudebro. After that they went to Michael’s basement to play this new game that Michael had found, which was more difficult than Jeremy would have thought because he found himself looking at Michael’s arms more than he was looking at the game.  
“Dude, you suck at this,” Michael said, after the “GAME OVER” flashed on the screen for the fifth time.  
“Are you sure it’s me,” Jeremy responded, lightly punching Michael’s shoulder, “I saw you struggling with those zombies.”  
“No way,” Michael argued, “I’m practically an expert at this game. You want some Crystal Pepsi?”  
“Gross,” Jeremy said scrunching his nose, “Don’t you have any normal drinks.”  
“You hurt me Jeremy Heere,” Michael gasped, “And here I thought you loved my obsession with vintage soda.”  
“Yeah, yeah,” Jeremy said, “You know I do. I just don’t love Crystal Pepsi.”  
“Do you want anything?” Michael asked, “Or are you just going to sit there and snark at me?”  
“You know you love my snark,” Jeremy said, sticking out his tongue then smiling wide at Michael, .  
“Yeah, yeah,” Michael said, with a look on his face that Jeremy couldn’t quite place, “You know I do.”  
And if the look that Michael gave Jeremy didn’t stop Jeremy’s heart for a moment, well Michael didn’t have to know that.Jeremy gave himself until Michael came back to pull himself together, there was no reason for him to be so thrown off by his best friend’s arms. Maybe it was just the fact that he had never seen Michael in a tank top before, but he’ll wear one now that Rich suggests that he do. It felt like a weak excuse, even to Jeremy, but he couldn’t put his finger on the weird shift in his relationship to Michael or why he was so irritated by everything with Rich.  
“Ready for round six?” Michael asked, now armed with a can of Crystal Pepsi. Jeremy blushed at the phrasing.  
“Yeah, sure, whatever dude,” Jeremy said, picking up his controller. He and Michael did their best to battle through the level, but Jeremy still found himself distracted, now by both his best friend’s arms and whatever feeling was in the back of his mind.  
“Dude!” Michael yelled when the “GAME OVER” screen flashed once again, “Ugh. We were so close.”  
“This game sucks,” Jeremy said, “Where’d you even find it?”  
“Rich showed it to me,” Michael said, “He let me borrow it the last time we hung out.”  
“Tell Rich he has sucky taste in video games,” Jeremy said.  
“I don’t know Jer,” Michael said, “When Rich and I played this game, we got to level ten.”  
“So you’re playing video games with Rich now,” Jeremy said, turning to Michael with fake shock, “I should’ve known you were cheating on me.”  
“I know. I’ve betrayed you,” Michael said, matching Jeremy’s dramatic flair, “I suppose I should come clean, I got high with Rich in my basement.”  
“But that’s our thing!” Jeremy gasped. Michael burst into a fit of giggles.Even though Jeremy also burst into a fit of laughter, he couldn’t help but feel that pit in stomach grow again. Although he was only Joking when he said it, those were their things, but Jeremy quickly shoved those feelings down.  
“What do you think?” Michael asked.  
“Huh?” Jeremy said, snapping out of his thoughts and turning to Michael who was looking at Jeremy with a confused look.  
“I said, I think I’m pretty done with this game,” Michael repeated.  
“Yeah,” Jeremy agreed, “It’s no Apocalypse of the Damned.”  
“It’s not,” Michael agreed, pausing for just a moment before soldiering on, “You know, I’ve missed this. Things have been hectic since, well, everything. And now you have play rehearsal, and even if we do hang out, half the time we hang out with everyone else. It’s just been a lot, and it’s just been the first time in while since everything’s felt normal.”  
“Yeah,” Jeremy said, “I’ve been feeling the same recently. “  
“Are you okay with everything?” Michael asked, looking at Jeremy with concern, “I mean I know we had that talk, but I know things can’t be easy.”  
“No, yeah,” Jeremy said, “I’m okay. I mean, things are always gonna feel a little weird, but being around everyone helps. It makes me feel like I’m not such a fuck up.”  
“You know that-” Michael started.  
“Yeah,” Jeremy said, “I know. But I know that there were some things i really messed up, and even though everyone has forgiven me, I can still hear this voice in the back of my head telling me I’m just going to fuck it up again.”  
“Hey,” Michael said, placing a hand on Jeremy’s arm and looking him in the eyes, “You don’t need to worry. You weren’t the only one who made mistakes during the whole SQUIP thing. Besides we know how to fix it now, and we all have each other’s backs. I guess in a sense you brought us together. And hey, even if you do fuck it all up, we know how to fix it.”  
“God you’re the worst,” Jeremy said, letting out a small laugh, and also pulling Michael in for a sort of awkward half hug.  
“But you love me anyway,” Michael said.  
“Shut up,” Jeremy said, pushing Michael away slightly, “Thanks, man.”  
“You know you can always talk to me about this stuff,” Michael reminded him, “We’re a two player team, right?”  
“Yeah,” Jeremy agreed.  
“But you know that if there was ever anything you couldn’t talk to me about, that there are other people ready to listen,” Michael added.  
“I know,” Jeremy said, “Christine has given me the same spiel before.”  
“I know that when I was working through some stuff, Rich really helped me out,” Michael admitted, “It might help you to talk to him, you guys went through some pretty similar stuff.”  
Although Michael was right, and Jeremy knew that he definitely wanted to talk to Rich about their shared experiences, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pain at the fact that Michael needed someone besides Jeremy to work through anything at all. Jeremy knew that that was all water under the bridge now, but even so, he still felt more than a little guilty about what he had put his friend through. Despite feeling upset that Michael had needed to go to someone else to work through his feelings, he felt grateful that his friend had found comfort in someone. Maybe he would thank Rich for that when they talked. As he sat in his room later that night, he pondered why all of this was so important, why all of these confusing feelings were swirling around his head, and why Michael was the center of them. And then the realization struck. He picked up his phone and dialed Christine’s number.  
“Christine,” Jeremy said, “I think I have a problem.” 

 

4.

After Jeremy had poured his heart out to Christine that night, detailing the ever pressing feelings he was having for his best friend, he did his best to ignore them. And he was doing a pretty good job, if he could say so himself. Of course there were always moments when his hand would brush Michael’s and his heart would race, or Michael would compliment him and he would blush, or Michael would say or do anything adorable and he would… Well maybe he wasn’t doing so well with the whole ignoring it thing. It didn’t matter, Jeremy Heere was handling his not so platonic feelings for his best friend.  
Christine, being the logical person she was, had suggested that maybe Jeremy talk to Michael about his newly discovered feelings and that “He’s your best friend, he’ll understand and love you no matter what.” Which would be the sensible thing to do, but Jeremy Heere was a teenage boy with a crush on his best friend of twelve years, sensibility was not his strong suit. So Jeremy continued to die a little every time he spent time with Michael, like now, which saw Michael leaning against Jeremy, his head on his chest as they both played Mario Kart.  
“So as Rich was saying…” Michael said, which brought Jeremy to another reason he refused to tell Michael about his feelings; he was almost certain Michael had a crush on Rich. When he had told Christine about his suspicions Christine had told him that she was “almost positive that that wasn’t the case” and that if Jeremy “wanted to be sure, then you should just confront Michael and ask him yourself, Jeremy.”  
“Are you listening buddy?” Michael asked, moving to look at Jeremy and effectively snapping Jeremy out of his thoughts. He ran a hand through his already messy curls, something he did with increasing frequency when he got concerned. If Jeremy hadn’t been so distracted by just how impossibly attractive it made him, he would have realized that Michael was concerned about him... because he kept spacing out so much… because he was thinking about Michael. “Are you with me? Earth to Jeremy?”  
“Uh… what? Sorry!” Jeremy said, snapping to attention as he caught his own thoughts, “I’m just a little…”  
“Are you okay?” Michael asked, “You’ve been acting weird all day. You’re not sick are you?”  
“No, I’m fine,” Jeremy said, “Just thinking.”  
“Okay,” Michael said hesitantly, as if he wasn’t to accept that as an answer, but he seemed to let it slide.  
“Can we stop with the game for a second?” Jeremy asked, “I think all this staring at a screen is messing with my brain.”  
“Maybe we’ve just smoked so much down here that you’re getting a contact high from the room now,” Michael said, powering off the game.  
“I don’t think that’s how it works Michael,” Jeremy said.  
“It was a joke Jeremy,” Michael said, returning to his spot pressed up against Jeremy’s side, “Do you want to talk about whatever it is that you’re thinking about so hard.”  
“Nah, it’s fine,” Jeremy said, doing his best to not give away how hard his heart was beating inside his chest. He was almost positive that Michael could feel it.  
“You’d tell me if it was SQUIP stuff right?” Michael asked, voice small.  
“Michael-”  
“Because you know I can help. I can be useful. I still have a mini fridge stocked with some Mountain Dew Red,” Michael continued frantically.  
“Michael, it’s not SQUIP stuff,” Jeremy stopped him.  
“Oh, okay,” Michael said, relaxing a little.  
“And if it was, you’d be the first person I tell,” Jeremy assured, resting his head on Michael’s shoulder. It was a little awkward at first but then Michael shifted a little, putting his arm around Jeremy’s shoulders. Then Jeremy shifted a little down until his head was on Michael’s chest, and it was just like old times.  
“I just get so afraid sometimes that you’re going to shut me out again,” Michael said, sighing deeply, “I know it’s dumb, because it’s been months, and you haven’t done anything to make me think you would, but I still get these moments of panic. Rich says I should talk to you about it more, and not let it build up, but I don’t want you to worry. I also don’t want to make you feel guilty about what happened, because it’s been months, and you’ve apologized, and I’ve forgiven you and I should really be over it-”  
“Mikey,” Jeremy said, looking up at him, “It’s fine. Take a deep breath. It’s okay that you still feel like this, it’s like how I told you that sometimes I’m afraid the SQUIP will come back. I know I can’t erase what I did in October, but I will do my best to prove to you that something like that will never happen.”  
“I know,” Michael said, “I didn’t even mean to freak out about it, I was supposed to be comforting you about whatever was on your mind so much that you came in last in Mario Kart three times. And now we’re both upset. God, I’m such a fuck up.”  
“Mikey,” Jeremy said, trying his best to gauge his friend’s emotions,” It’s okay, really-”  
“I think I know something that might make us both feel better,” Michael said, getting up and leaving the basement. Jeremy mourned the loss of contact for a slight moment, before his focus turned to where on earth Michael might be going. However, before he was pondering for too long, Michael returned with a two liter of Mountain Dew Red.  
“Sometimes when Rich or I freak out about the SQUIP, we both drink some of this,” Michael explains, “Even though I never had took the SQUIP, it just makes me feel better. If you’re worried about the SQUIP returning, we can drink this, and then we don’t have to worry.”  
“That sounds like a pretty good plan Mikey,” Jeremy said, taking the two liter from Michael and taking a swig from the bottle. A voice in the back of his mind kept asking how Michael and Rich had so much time to talk about Michael's insecurities caused by Jeremy, and drink Mountain Dew Red, and play video games, and get high, and do all the things that Jeremy remembered Michael mentioning every time they hung out. Jeremy tried to ignore the voices.  
“You haven’t called me Mikey since we were kids,” Michael noted, sitting down across from Jeremy on the floor.  
“Shut up,” Jeremy muttered, “I was panicking, I thought you were about to have a panic attack. You always calmed down when I used that nickname.”  
“Sap,” Michael said, sticking out his tongue at Jeremy.  
“Shut up,” Jeremy said, face turning a deep red, covering his face with his hands.  
“No, it’s cute,” Michael said, grabbing Jeremy’s wrist and pulling his hand away from his face. Their eyes locked for a moment and Jeremy stammered, trying to think of a response. Michael, upon seeing Jeremy’s response, seemed to realize what he said and what he was doing, and he blushed deep enough to match the color of his hoodie that Jeremy had grown so fond of. However, he didn’t remove his hand.  
“Now who’s the sap?” Jeremy asked, still incredibly red.  
“Shut up,” Michael said, and Jeremy stuck out his tongue at him. It was at that moment that Jeremy was struck with an overwhelming feeling of right. It didn’t matter if Michael didn’t feel the exact same, Jeremy just wanted to let him know how absolutely loved he was.  
“Michael?” Jeremy said, asking for permission to continue, and shifting ever so slightly forward.  
“Yeah?” Michael said, granting the permission that Jeremy needed, meeting Jeremy’s eyes with his own impossibly warm eyes.  
“I need to tell you something,” Jeremy said.  
“What is it?” Michael asked, shifting closer to Jeremy. They seemed to occupy their own bubble.  
“Michael. Mikey, I-” Jeremy stated before he was cut off by the harsh buzz of Michael’s phone, and just like that the spell was broken.  
“Shit!” Michael swore as he checked the text, “I’m sorry Jer, I really have to deal with this.”  
“Is everything alright?” Jeremy asked.  
“It’ll be okay, Rich just needs my help,” Michael explained, grabbing the two liter of Mountain Dew Red he and Jeremy had been sharing just a moment earlier. Jeremy felt a sharp pain in his chest at the mention of Rich.  
“Is Rich okay?” Jeremy asked, concerned for his friend despite his feelings.  
“He’ll be fine,” Michael said, “He just needs me right now.”  
“Oh,” Jeremy said, “Okay.”  
“I wouldn’t go if it wasn’t important,” Michael said, as if he needed to clarify.  
“Michael, I get it. I understand,” Jeremy said, “Go help our friend. He needs you more than I do right now, I can wait.”  
“Jer,” Michael said, voice filled with an unrecognizable emotion, “I want to revisit this conversation, okay?”  
“Alright,” Jeremy said, as he watched his friend rush out of the basement. However, Jeremy knew that his courage was gone, and that this conversation was not something that he’d be revisiting. At least for a while. 

 

5.

“What?” Christine half asked, half shouted, “Are you serious Jeremy Heere?”  
“Why would I lie about this?” Jeremy asked, giving a half laugh in reply.  
“You almost- And Michael- And then he- but before he was- ohmigod Jeremy that’s great news!” She said, flailing her arms as though she was talking about play rehearsal.  
“How?” Jeremy asked, “I almost made an ass out of myself, and then Michael left to go be with Rich.”  
“He left to help Rich,” Christine corrected, “You know there’s a difference. Michael would understand if you needed to leave to help me with something.”  
“I know, I know,” Jeremy said, “I’m glad that Michael and Rich have become such good friends, it’s just…”  
“I know Jeremy,” Christine said, crossing her arms, “But honestly I think you’re seeing something that isn’t there because you’re afraid.”  
“That’s not true,” Jeremy protested, to no avail.  
“So what are you going to do now?” Christine asked  
“Nothing,” Jeremy said, shrugging it off as it was no big deal, “Rich’s text was probably a sign telling me to stop before I ruined everything.”  
“That’s bullshit, Jeremy,” Christine said, “And you know it. Michael said he wanted to revisit the conversation, he probably wants this as much as you do.”  
“I know it’s just every time we make some progress, he brings up Rich and-”  
“That is completely ridiculous,” Christine said, “Jeremy, they’re probably just friends.”  
“But-”  
“Jeremy,” Christine sighed, looking more than done with Jeremy's lovesick bullshit, “You need to tell him.”  
…  
Which is why a week later Jeremy found himself walking down Michael’s street. He tried to tell himself that he just happened to walk here, and that he he would just stop by Michael’s since he happened to show up here. It wasn’t like he wanted to talk to Michael and gush about his sappy, romantic feelings. No. Not at all.  
He had never felt so daunted as he walked up the walkway to Michael’s front door. He would have sworn that his driveway had gotten longer since he was last here, if he hadn’t already known he was scared shitless. He stood before the door, which seemed to tower above him. He debated whether he should just leave, and pretend as if this had never happened. He would see Michael at school, and they could pretend everything was as it always was. But then he heard Christine in the back of his mind, and he knew that she was right, that he had to talk to Michael about this. So he knocked.  
“He waited for what seemed like years before he heard footsteps clamoring down the stairs. A smiling, laughing Michael opened the door, and Jeremy lost his breath for a second. When Michael recognized that it was Jeremy at the door, he looked surprised, but no less happy.  
“Hey, Jeremy, buddy,” Michael said, “What are you doing here?”  
“Heh, Heere,” Jeremy laughed.  
“If you make that joke every time you come over, I won’t let you in anymore,” Michael said but he was still laughing, “Rich is here right now, but you should-”  
“Michael,” Rich called from upstairs, “Come back to bed.” And Michael just laughed. He had seemed so happy to see Jeremy, but Rich was here and they were- Jeremy decided that he needed to go right that second.  
“I, uh… I should go,” Jeremy stammered.  
“Wait, where are you going,” Michael, suddenly looking sad.  
“I forgot I uh, I have a thi- I should go,” Jeremy said, “I’ll see you at school.” And with that he sped away, dialing Christine as he tried to hold back tears.  
…  
“Wait, what?” Christine asked, clearly in shock, “Michael and Rich were what?”  
“I went over there, and I was clearly interrupting something,” Jeremy explained, “Rich was in his room and he told Michael to come back to bed.”  
“ Are you sure?” Christine asked.  
“Yes, I’m sure,” Jeremy snapped, “It was humiliating.”  
“It sounds weird,” Christine said, “You said Michael was happy to see you. I mean if you were interrupting something, don’t you think he be more… irritated?”  
“I don’t know Christine,” Jeremy cried, “I don’t have a precedent for this situation. I’m not even sure Michael’s dated before. If he has, I’ve never met one of his boyfriends? Partners? Much less walked in on them.”  
“Okay, you didn’t walk in on them,” Christine said, trying to keep Jeremy calm.  
“I showed up at his house uninvited,” Jeremy says, “Who does that. That’s what cell phones are for.”  
“Jeremy,” Christine, said, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Take a deep breath. Okay? Breath in… breath out… Michael will not be upset at you for this, but this is something you need to talk to him about. Let him tell you what’s going on before you jump to conclusions, but most importantly talk to him.”  
“Okay,” Jeremy said.  
“Alright, do you want to do something to distract yourself from this?” Christine asked, Jeremy nodded, “Okay because I brought my flash-drive with all my bootlegs on it, your pick!” 

 

+1

Despite Christine’s advice to talk things out with Michael, Jeremy had been avoiding him. He hadn’t meant to at all, but after an entire morning of mentally planning what he was going to say, he had taken one look at Michael and blanked. So he did the only thing he could think of, he turned and ran to the bathroom to try and regain some sense of composure. He pulled out his phone and sent a quick text. 

To Christine: I can’t do it. I’m a coward and a horrible friend

Jeremy didn’t have to wait long for Christine’s reply. The girl could type scarily fast when the occasion called for it. 

From Christine: You’re not a terrible friend or a coward, but you have to talk to him. He’ll understand.

Jeremy couldn’t respond to that, he looked in the mirror and tried his best to give himself a pep talk. He walked back out of the bathroom, but he couldn’t face Michael at his locker. He’d talk to him at lunch, he’d pull him away and they’d talk then. However, as lunch drew near Jeremy found himself coming up with excuses on why he couldn’t go to lunch. He spent the entire period in the library copying notes for a project that wasn’t due for at least two weeks. Although he hid away from his friends, he couldn’t hide from the ridiculous amounts of texts they were bombarding him with. 

From Michael: Hey dude are you alright you’ve been acting kinda strange  
From Christine: Jeremy why aren’t you at lunch???  
From Rich: Is everything good? Ur kinda freaking everyone out

Jeremy did his best to ignore the texts, but they were constantly setting off his phone. The librarian shot him a stone cold glare, and Jeremy quickly put his phone on silent. However, that didn’t stop the texts from coming. 

From Christine: If this is about the Michael thing, then you don’t have to do anything. Just let us know you’re okay.  
From Michael: I’m kinda worried about you, let me know you’re okay  
From Chloe: Whatever it is, you’re probably just being dramatic  
From Brooke: Don’t listen to Chloe, she’s just a little freaked out… We all are. Let us know what’s up  
From Jenna: Word is that you’re skipping lunch now?

Jeremy put his phone in his backpack, but even looking at his backpack made him feel guilty. The faded letters that spelled out “BOYF” looked back at him almost accusing him of being a terrible friend. He had to figure out what he was going to say to Michael, and he was only making it worse. 

From Rich: Look Christine and Michael are really freaked  
From Jake: If you need some space, that’s chill. Let me know and I can tell everyone to back off  
From Christine: Jeremy?  
From Michael: Did I do something wrong?

Jeremy had made a mistake by checking his phone during class. He half considered leaving it out on purpose so that the teacher would confiscate it for the rest of the day, then he’d have an excuse. Instead he shot a quick text to Jake. 

To Jake: Yeah, actually. I’ll let everyone know I’m fine later, I just had some stuff to think about and some homework I needed to do.  
From Jake: Cool. I’ll let everyone know now so they stop bombarding you with questions, but you should probably clear things up later  
To Jake: Cool

Jeremy tried to focus the rest of the day, but he just couldn’t. Michael was probably going to hate him, he had already started blaming himself. Maybe Jeremy should have sent him a text, but he still didn’t have a clear plan on what he was going to say to Michael about the other day. How could he explain randomly showing up at his friend’s house and bolting just a minute later?  
He went through the rest of the day in a trance like haze, thinking intensely on the best possible way to deal with the situation. Before he knew it, the final bell had sounded, and he was making his way to his locker, where he was greeted by Rich.  
“Hey,” Jeremy said hesitantly.  
“Hey,” Rich said, not really meeting Jeremy’s eyes, “Look, Jake told everyone about you needing some space, and we respect that, but you need to talk to Michael.”  
“Wait,” Jeremy said, concern for his friend shoving aside any embarrassment about the other day, “What’s wrong with Michael.”  
“He’s completely convinced that this is all his fault,” Rich explained, “He thinks that this is the SQUIP situation all over again.”  
“That’s not true,” Jeremy insisted.  
“That’s what I told him,” Rich said, “I understand if you need some space, but I think you should tell him in person about it. Show him that you’re not avoiding him.”  
“Okay,” Jeremy said, already formulating a plan, he quickly turned to see if he could catch Michael before he left.  
“Oh, and Jeremy,” Rich called after him, “If you hurt my friend like this again, I will kick you in the shin… repeatedly.”  
Jeremy sprinted out to the school’s parking lot, his eyes scanning for the familiar red hoodie.  
“Michael,” He called out, upon seeing his best friend walking towards his beat up P.T Cruiser. The figure paused, then continued to walk. Jeremy sprinted after him until he was only a few feet away, “Michael, wait!”  
“Oh, so you’re talking to me again,” Michael snapped, spinning on his heels to face Jeremy. Jeremy’s mind flickered to a very similar conversation they had in the fall.  
“It wasn’t supposed to be like that,” Jeremy said, “I never wanted to ignore you in the first place, and I certainly never wanted to make you feel like you did something wrong.”  
“Well you really missed the mark on that one,” Michael huffed out, shoving his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.  
“That’s why I’m here now,” Jeremy explained, “Look I didn’t know what to say about yesterday, and so I panicked and I knew I couldn’t face you until I could explain myself, and so I just never faced you.”  
“There was never any reason for you to panic,” Michael said, “I’m just confused because a few days ago we were in your basement and everything just… well never mind. Then yesterday you show up at my house, and then you leave in a hurry for no reason. Then today you completely ignored me and everyone else.”  
“I know, and I was wrong to do that,” Jeremy said, “If I’m being honest, I would have let my anxiety take over and it all would have gone a lot further, but then Rich told me you thought that it was your fault-”  
“Rich talked to you,” Michael interjected.  
“”Yeah,” Jeremy said, “And he made me get out of my head for a minute and see how I was affecting you and everyone else. I didn’t care anymore about how I was going to explain myself, all that mattered was making sure that my friend knew that it wasn’t his fault. It was because his friend is a giant fuck up who has no idea what’s going on ever.”  
“You’re not a giant fuck up,” Michael muttered, “I know, I should have given you some space. Things are different than they were in the fall, I shouldn’t have freaked out.”  
“No,” Jeremy said, “I should have known better than to push you away without an explanation. We’ve talked about this. I just… I’m so sorry Michael.”  
“Of course I forgive you,” Michael said, “You’re my best friend, and I know that anxiety makes us believe even the most unlikely of things. We’ll both just try harder not to let it take so much control, right?”  
“Right,” Jeremy agreed.  
“So, “Michael said, “You wanna go play some video games?”  
“Absolutely,” Jeremy said, unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face. He climbed into the passenger seat of Michael’s car, and sent out a quick text to everyone that he was okay, and would explain everything at lunch tomorrow. He was meet with positive texts from everyone, saying that they were glad he was okay. The majority of the car ride passed in comfortable silence, until Michael decided to ask.  
“So why were you so freaked out yesterday?”  
“Um…” Jeremy sputtered, trying to think of a quick answer.  
“It’s fine if you don’t want to te-” Michael started.  
“No, no-” Jeremy said, deciding the truth was his best option, “I just- I guess I was a little startled to find out that you and rich were a thing, and I didn’t know how to process it so I…”  
“Wait, what?” Michael asked, almost swerving into another lane.  
“I mean I’m happy for you man,” Jeremy said quickly, “As long as you make each other happy. It just came as such a surprise. I mean it makes sense because you started spending so much time together, but I was just caught off guard. I mean-”  
“You thought Rich and I were together?’ Michael asked, barely squeaking out the question before he burst into uncontrollable laughter.  
“I- What?” Jeremy asked, confused by the turn of events, “He was in your room and then he- he-”  
“You mean to tell me that this whole thing was because you thought Rich and I were fucking?” Michael laughed, “I would be pissed if it wasn’t so hilarious. I honestly don’t know whether to laugh or cry.”  
“So you’re not dating Rich?” Jeremy asked.  
I don’t know where you got that idea from,” Michael said.  
“He told you to come back to bed,” Jeremy said.  
“He was joking, he does shit like that all the time,” Michael said, “One time he started loudly moaning while I was talking to my grandma.”  
“I-uhh- I…” Jeremy stammered, trying to process everything that just happened. Michael pulled the car into his driveway, and put it in park, but he didn’t unlock the doors or make any move to get out.  
“That’s seriously why you were so flustered?” Michael asked, “Why?”  
“Uhhh- I- well,” Jeremy stuttered, mouth opening and closing like a fish.  
“Jeremy,” Michael said, leveling him with a concerned mom look. Jeremy gulped and took a deep breath.  
“Do you remember a few days ago, when we were talking in your basement?” Jeremy asked. Michael nodded, prompting Jeremy to continue, “You said you wanted to revisit that conversation.”  
“Yeah,” Michael said, and suddenly the air in the car must have gotten thicker because Jeremy found it really hard to breathe.  
“Well, that actually why I came over yesterday,” Jeremy continued.  
“But then why the thing with Rich, what-” Michael asked, Jeremy grabbed his hands, effectively stopping his thoughts.  
“Please, let me finish this. I just need to get this out, then everything will make sense,” Jeremy explained, Michael nodding once again. Jeremy took another deep breath, urging himself to continue, to tell Michael everything, “That day in the basement, I was going to tell you how I felt… how I felt, well, I guess about you.”  
“What?” Michael asked.  
“Michael,” Jeremy said, looking down, too afraid to make eye contact, “Mikey, you’ve always been my favorite person, and I think I’m just figuring out exactly what that means. I was going to tell you that I like you… as more than friends.”  
By the end of his confession, Jeremy had screwed his eyes shut, terrified of Michael's reaction. He felt Michael pull his hands away. Jeremy flinched, afraid of what was going to happen next; however, he didn’t expect to feel one of Michael’s hands gently cup his face, and lift his head enough so that he was looking Michael in the eye.  
“I kinda like you too,” Michael said quietly, “as more than friends.”  
And very suddenly, Jeremy jolted forward and connected his lips with Michael's. The kiss was short, messy, awkward, and very inexperienced, but Michael was close and he was kissing Jeremy back, and when Jeremy pulled away, Michael pulled in him into one of the best hugs Jeremy had ever had.For that moment, Jeremy didn’t care that sitting in the car made everything at a weird angle, he could have stayed in this moment for forever. That was until Michael let out a small peal of laughter.  
“What is it?” Jeremy asked, pulling back to look at his now boyfriend.  
“I can’t believe you were jealous of Rich,” Michael said, failing at holding back a wide smile.  
“I was not jealous,” Jeremy said.  
“That’s so cute babe,” Michael said, “I can’t wait to tell all of our friends that you finally kissed me because you were jealous of Rich.”  
“Ugh,” Jeremy sighed, rolling his eyes and smiling, “You are such a liar. You’re the worst.”  
“Yeah but you love me,” Michael said in a sing song voice, batting his eyes at Jeremy. Jeremy lightly pushed his face away, but kept his hand on Michael’s cheek.  
“Yeah,” Jeremy said, “I do.”  
“Sap,” Michael said, before he leaned over and pressed another kiss to Jeremy’s lips. And Jeremy couldn’t be bothered to mind his boyfriend’s teasing, if this is what it meant now.


End file.
